We all want to feel good, and we should strive to feel good—healthy, happy, healed, and thriving. But what happens when we’re not? It’s such an important topic that even the first chapter of my Holding Space book is all about “getting comfortable with being uncomfortable.”

The thing is, growth happens in the stages when we’re uncomfortable. It’s not comfortable for the caterpillar to be stuck in a dark cocoon thinking its life is over, but in that state it is growing— “becoming.”

I’m not saying it’s fun to be uncomfortable, or even that it doesn’t suck, but the struggle to get free from it builds our strength, resolve, hope, and faith—and these are things we desperately need to cultivate in our lives.

Here are a few ideas to help you navigate the darker times:

ALLOW yourself to be uncomfortable first of all, KNOW that it won’t last forever, FEEL the feelings-let them pass in their time, and don’t try too hard to rush the process. The good times are coming, and the uncomfortable times will push you to uncover/heal/notice/do/say/be what is necessary to bring you to the next level. If you need to, say to yourself or whoever may be going through things with you, “This sucks,” or “This sure is uncomfortable, isn’t it?” and let out a bit of the tension by just acknowledging the pain or struggle.

Wish you were already at the next level? Don’t we all. But if you try to rush past it and don’t allow yourself the time to be uncomfortable, the joy won’t get here any faster, and you may miss some things that you’ll have to come back to later.

Most importantly, don’t judge yourself or this time. It is normal. It is necessary. And it sucks. But YOU don’t suck. If you can give yourself grace, love yourself, and be willing to look into the gifts in the darkness, you will grow into that next version of yourself. You will not get sucked into the void if you learn not to fear it.

It’s been super intense out there lately, friends.

Allow whatever it is, be kind to yourself, and remember that nothing will change on the outer level until you’re willing to look at it on the inner level. The uncomfortable times force us to SEE—if we are willing to look.

(This post is something I wrote on Facebook years ago. I re-shared it recently and it got great feedback, so I wanted to share it over here).

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