How Loving Yourself Helps You to Attract Healthy Relationships With Others

How Loving Yourself Helps You to Attract Healthy Relationships With Others

The healthiest relationships are those where both people are doing their personal growth work, and the amount of give and take feels relatively balanced.  If you over-help everyone else at the expense of yourself, hoping for love and validation of your worth by what you can “do” for them, you’ve set up a toxic pattern.  If you expect others to jump in and save you every time you face a challenge, you lose an opportunity to learn and grow.

We must all do the majority of our personal growth work.  That work involves getting to know yourself and understanding your worth.  You have worth by the mere fact that you exist.  You do not have to prove that worth to anyone.  If you feel as if you do, it is time to look at why you feel that way, and apply some love to that part of you after you’ve uncovered the misconception.  You deserve to be treated with honor and respect, but you must be willing to honor and respect yourself before you’ll be able to recognize when you are being mistreated.  When you begin to stand on your own two feet and love yourself, you will no longer agree to situations where others are dishonoring to you.  You will develop the courage to say no to those people and situations that do not honor your being.

It is a process, as you have most likely picked up false concepts that have been on repeat in your subconscious for years.  Be gentle with yourself, and celebrate every new victory where you’ve learned to stand in your power and love yourself.

It is possible that you may find yourself a bit lonely for awhile.  Try to embrace, rather than to fear this period of time.  This is your time to spend wonderful, quality time getting to know and love yourself.  It is in this amazing time that you will build the foundations needed to bring new, healthy relationships into your life.

If you learned to be alone and really fallen in love with yourself, you will begin to give yourself all the things you gave away to others while expecting someone else to fill the cup you emptied.  Our cups should runneth over, and we cannot give what we don’t have.  So give, love, get to know, and fall in love with yourself first.

Remember to congratulate yourself for taking the first step toward a better life- a life in which the genuine love and respect you give others comes from a cup overflowing, and the love you receive is in line with what you’ve learned to give yourself.

You got this.

Manifesting What You Truly Desire: Part II

Manifesting What You Truly Desire: Part II

This is a continuation of my last post.

How do you get to know yourself, in order to be sure you manifest what you truly desire?

Take time for stillness, meditation, and contemplation each day, and get to know yourself in an intimate way.   Learn from your feelings about things.  What are they telling you?  What are the deeper feelings under why you feel that way?  What lights you up?  What drains you?  What makes you feel like you are moving towards something, and what makes you feel as if you are manifesting more of what you’re moving away from?

When you answer these questions and start to move forward, you should also be aware that many of your old subconscious beliefs (ones you are probably not aware of), will begin to rise to the surface.  They will try to throw you off track, because you are trying to manifest the opposite of what they are telling you is possible for you to achieve.  You soaked up these old tapes long ago, and they are most likely not applicable to what you are trying to create in this moment. Be gentle with them and yourself as you attempt to define, unravel, and dissolve them, they’ve been with you for a long time.

Give yourself grace, and move through both the wins and the road blocks with an understanding that you need time to dismantle the old, as well as to integrate the new.  Be proud of yourself for choosing something different, and celebrate the fact that you are continuing to move forward, despite the old programs that are trying to derail you. You are stronger than they are, but you also must bend a bit to allow them to affect you.  If you do nothing but fight constantly, you’ll wear yourself out.

Manifesting your dreams is a delicate balancing act.  You must move forward without pushing so hard that you exhaust yourself, but also keep enough momentum going to keep you at a steady pace.

Take the time to integrate and absorb the new you are moving towards.  Manifesting what you truly desire is not a huge jump from A-Z.  It’s a journey that you’ll look back on at different points in time,  and realize just how far you’ve come.

Slow and steady wins the race.

We Can Build New Structures- Without Waiting Around For the Old Ones to Crumble Completely

We Can Build New Structures- Without Waiting Around For the Old Ones to Crumble Completely

A Message to All Regarding the Inhumanity We are Witnessing:

We must build the new in order to render the current systems obsolete.

We were never meant to be ‘ruled’ by de-humanized structures and systems, that is why they are not working and why they are breaking down.  The real need is freedom.  Sovereign freedom.  The freedom we get from being who we really are, and having the resources to do the things we really want to do, and take care of ourselves.  When we are stifled or not allowed to be our true selves, we suffer.  In some, that suffering can lead to actions they would not have taken had they had the proper love, care, and encouragement to grow into who they truly are.  This cannot be found in structures and systems, only in hearts.

Our current systems do not teach us how to heal our hurting hearts; they do not teach us how to deal with life; they do not always encourage us to be ourselves; and the systems definitely do not school us in things like understanding our conscious and  subconscious, listening to our emotions and learning from their messages, and relationships.

May we all feel the sovereign freedom in doing what we are put on this planet to do.  In whatever ways we can (even if that is only taking responsibility for working on ourselves), may we help create the new systems– Systems with heart, systems designed to encourage and honor others where they are at, wherever they are at.

Because we should all be allowed to be who we really are, so long as we do not hurt ourselves or others.

We don’t have to wait until everything crumbles in order to start to rebuild.

 

 

A Quick Look at “Will”

A Quick Look at “Will”

Free Write- Topic: The Will

Will

You can bend it, break it, and strengthen it.

It can move you forward, or keep you stuck in place.

Many use it forcefully, and try to overpower that of others.

Strengthen your will by learning that we are all part of the same universe.

Some may think they can take or use more power than they should, but this is not real power.

Surrender your will to the understanding that you are a part of the whole universe, and your individual power will strengthen in a sustainable manner.

You are powerful.

Insert yourself into the greater flow and use your will to enhance the life experience of all you are connected to, and you will thrive as well.

When Life Gets Tough, Hang on.

When Life Gets Tough, Hang on.

Today’s post is another inspired writing, where I just write what comes, without much editing or proofreading.  I hope it helps someone who may benefit from its message.

 

When the road is long and you are feeling weary

Hang on.

Change is around the corner.

 

When you feel like you’re gasping for air or that no one around you cares

Hang on.

Change is on the horizon.

 

Believe it.

Feel it.

Be it.

 

Love is always here.

Even in your darkest days.

 

Believe in the power of love to heal hearts.

Believe there are better days coming.

 

You are part of the universe.

You are everything in the world.

 

Love yourself

And you love everything.

 

Love all.

Joy is inevitable.

 

Even if you can’t see it right now.

Believe it is hidden

And it will be revealed.

You are so loved.

What Does it Really Mean to “Show Up and Do the Work,” When You’re Trying to Achieve Your Dreams?

What Does it Really Mean to “Show Up and Do the Work,” When You’re Trying to Achieve Your Dreams?

Today I’m going to write a continuation of my last blog, and start with the question that may have been left slightly unanswered: “What does it really mean to show up and do your work?”

For those of you struggling to make career, relationship, and health goals a reality, you may feel like you’ve already done so much work. You’ve taken the classes, made the plans and goals, written the press releases, gone on the dates, been a good friend, been to college, and basically “done your time.”  So why can’t you manifest that which you desire?

Well, to start with, as I mentioned in the last blog, a big part of the formula is to trust and let go, but there is another component.  This one involves your perception of the word work, and is very closely related to a major theme of my book, Holding Space- A Guide to Supporting Others While Remembering to Take Care of Yourself First.  In the book, one of the concepts I cover is the difference between masculine and feminine energies, and how each of us have and use both, no matter what our physical gender is.

In brief, masculine energy is that of: plans, structure, doing, and the concrete.  It it the energy of bringing things into form.  Again, in brief, feminine energies consist of things such as: being, tapping into the creative field, and relationships.  Here’s the trick- the feminine must be entered into before the masculine can be utilized.  This may come as a shock, because Western culture has taught the exact opposite.  What this means is that you have to do the abstract work of be-ingbefore you can begin the concrete do-ing work that is also required to bring things into existence.  And then again, after you do your work in both areas, you have to let go and trust that the Universe/God/Spirit/whatever your believe in that is bigger than you, is working to fit the pieces together and bring you what you ordered, if it is indeed for your highest good.

So remember when you are showing up and doing your work, that the work does not only entail the concrete things you learned in school as a child, or at a job as an adult.  In order to be truly whole and  truly manifest that which you desire, you have to do the deeper emotional, spiritual, and healing work required to remove any unconscious blocks to your success.  You also need to be still enough to really get to know yourself and what you truly want to manifest, what’s honoring to you, and what isn’t.  Once you’ve done both types of work,  you must again trust that what you ordered will be brought to you in its right timing.  No need to be jealous of others or upset at yourself that you’re doing something wrong.  Tune in to that which is greater than you, follow your guidance and intuition, show up and do the work, and then trust.

Godspeed everyone!

My Natural Remedies Toolkit

My Natural Remedies Toolkit

Today, in the interest of sharing more of who I am and what makes me tick, and also to share what I know with those who want the information, I blog about natural remedies.

I have been a holistic, organic girl for quite a long time.  For many years, you followed it but didn’t speak about it, for fear that you would be criticized yet again for following your own guidance and intuition rather than just consuming what was presented to you.  So I followed in silence, except for the few who may have asked me more about myself, and who I could tell would be open to such conversation.

Nowadays, things are a little bit different.  I feel that more and more people who may have been unwilling to hear about something less than mainstream, now crave anything that will actually lead them to good health and wellness.

So here is my natural remedies toolkit, used for years as my main go-to’s.

Bug repellent:  Lavender essential oil put on my hand and applied directly to the body in every place where those little buggers love to bite me.  (*Caution*- though lavender is not one of the “hot oils” and doesn’t absolutely require a carrier oil for dilution, not everyone’s skin is as agreeable to straight up lavender all over it like mine is).

Anti-itch for bug bites and stings:  Lavender essential oil (See above for my use and disclaimers)

Antiseptic for cuts and small wounds:  Tea tree oil on a cotton ball or q-tip, applied directly to the wound.  (Again, see above for cautions on essential oil use).

In summer I keep lavender and tea tree oil in my hiking/beach bag.

Nasal congestion and allergies, polluted air sinus issues, etc:  Colloidal Silver (I haven’t turned blue from using it yet, but I don’t go crazy with it either).  I use as needed, as many drops or sprays as feels appropriate.  (*Again, it is best to use even natural products with caution when you begin, and start very slow and with very little, and diluted is best.  Even still, not everyone will react wonderfully to everything).

Bacterial infections/Sinus Infections, etc:  Drops of Grapefruit Seed Extract in water or juice.  (Not pleasant tasting, you will have to chug it quickly, but worth it if it helps you). (Again, see previous disclaimers)

Dry nasal passages and headaches when flying or any other time you are in dry/stale air:  Saline nasal spray.  Spray a few drops in each nostril (have tissues handy to catch what drains back out), before you fly, and keep a small bottle and some tissues with you on the flight for times when the pressure drops suddenly and your forehead has the beginnings of a splitting headache.

Again, though these are all natural remedies, please do your due diligence and remember that all essential oils are not the same.  Do your research before you use a new one, and know that the “hot” type oils absolutely have to be diluted in a carrier oil!

Best wishes, and good holistic health to you!!