Struggling? It’s a normal part of the process-don’t judge yourself.

Struggling?  It’s a normal part of the process-don’t judge yourself.

Struggle is a completely normal part of life.

Though it is uncomfortable, and there are indeed stresses associated with it, I encourage you to hold yourself gently during this time and resist the urge to judge yourself.  You are trying to break through to the next level, and the path isn’t always linear, but you are showing up and doing what you can, whether or not you fall down.

When the internal chatter starts to show up, and you feel ashamed for whatever you are going through, try to remember that you need your own love most of all, and that there is NO SHAME in being where you are.

Remind and congratulate yourself for all the things that you have done well, and do what you can to find the answers you need.  Meditate (though it’s best to do this daily), journal (extra if you need to), reach out for help, and have a conversation with whatever you believe in that is bigger than you.

Just don’t judge yourself harshly for where you are.

Writing this for myself as much as I am for you.

 

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LOVE

LOVE

(Another one from my “inspired writing, no editing” vault).

How do you know when love is true?

 

How does it feel to you?

Does it feel heavy?

Burdensome?

That’s not love.

 

Does it feel complicated, but hopeful, like people are trying their best?

That’s closer to love.

 

Love isn’t always easy to spot.

But if you look underneath the details, the message will be there.

 

Search the situation, see if there is love present.

If not, a change needs to be made somewhere.

 

Let love be the driving force of all of your interactions, whatever it ends up looking like on the surface.

Then you will always be centered and grounded in what is real.

 

Love is the only real force.

Everything else is an illusion.

Remember that.

Addressing Core Issues To Affect Real Change

Addressing Core Issues To Affect Real Change

In order to cause real change in ourselves and our world, we must address the root issues and build new structures.

Though addressing the symptoms of an unhealthy system or relationship is important during a crisis period, there needs to be a new and healthier system taking shape in order to keep history from repeating itself.  This takes more time and effort than fixing only the surface issues immediately, but it you’re looking for long-term gain and real change, it’s the only way to go.

Do the work.  You’re worth it.  Our society is worth it.  Our universe is worth it.

I will be live tonight with David Clark on “Different Strokes for Different Folks”

I am under the impression that this is a call-in show as well. 🙂

Join us! 6:30pm CST

http://www.blogtalkradio.com/authordavidclarke/2017/12/15/merge-your-spiritual-and-physical-worlds-with-amanda-dobra-hope

 

 

How Loving Yourself Helps You to Attract Healthy Relationships With Others

How Loving Yourself Helps You to Attract Healthy Relationships With Others

The healthiest relationships are those where both people are doing their personal growth work, and the amount of give and take feels relatively balanced.  If you over-help everyone else at the expense of yourself, hoping for love and validation of your worth by what you can “do” for them, you’ve set up a toxic pattern.  If you expect others to jump in and save you every time you face a challenge, you lose an opportunity to learn and grow.

We must all do the majority of our personal growth work.  That work involves getting to know yourself and understanding your worth.  You have worth by the mere fact that you exist.  You do not have to prove that worth to anyone.  If you feel as if you do, it is time to look at why you feel that way, and apply some love to that part of you after you’ve uncovered the misconception.  You deserve to be treated with honor and respect, but you must be willing to honor and respect yourself before you’ll be able to recognize when you are being mistreated.  When you begin to stand on your own two feet and love yourself, you will no longer agree to situations where others are dishonoring to you.  You will develop the courage to say no to those people and situations that do not honor your being.

It is a process, as you have most likely picked up false concepts that have been on repeat in your subconscious for years.  Be gentle with yourself, and celebrate every new victory where you’ve learned to stand in your power and love yourself.

It is possible that you may find yourself a bit lonely for awhile.  Try to embrace, rather than to fear this period of time.  This is your time to spend wonderful, quality time getting to know and love yourself.  It is in this amazing time that you will build the foundations needed to bring new, healthy relationships into your life.

If you learned to be alone and really fallen in love with yourself, you will begin to give yourself all the things you gave away to others while expecting someone else to fill the cup you emptied.  Our cups should runneth over, and we cannot give what we don’t have.  So give, love, get to know, and fall in love with yourself first.

Remember to congratulate yourself for taking the first step toward a better life- a life in which the genuine love and respect you give others comes from a cup overflowing, and the love you receive is in line with what you’ve learned to give yourself.

You got this.

Manifesting What You Truly Desire: Part II

Manifesting What You Truly Desire: Part II

This is a continuation of my last post.

How do you get to know yourself, in order to be sure you manifest what you truly desire?

Take time for stillness, meditation, and contemplation each day, and get to know yourself in an intimate way.   Learn from your feelings about things.  What are they telling you?  What are the deeper feelings under why you feel that way?  What lights you up?  What drains you?  What makes you feel like you are moving towards something, and what makes you feel as if you are manifesting more of what you’re moving away from?

When you answer these questions and start to move forward, you should also be aware that many of your old subconscious beliefs (ones you are probably not aware of), will begin to rise to the surface.  They will try to throw you off track, because you are trying to manifest the opposite of what they are telling you is possible for you to achieve.  You soaked up these old tapes long ago, and they are most likely not applicable to what you are trying to create in this moment. Be gentle with them and yourself as you attempt to define, unravel, and dissolve them, they’ve been with you for a long time.

Give yourself grace, and move through both the wins and the road blocks with an understanding that you need time to dismantle the old, as well as to integrate the new.  Be proud of yourself for choosing something different, and celebrate the fact that you are continuing to move forward, despite the old programs that are trying to derail you. You are stronger than they are, but you also must bend a bit to allow them to affect you.  If you do nothing but fight constantly, you’ll wear yourself out.

Manifesting your dreams is a delicate balancing act.  You must move forward without pushing so hard that you exhaust yourself, but also keep enough momentum going to keep you at a steady pace.

Take the time to integrate and absorb the new you are moving towards.  Manifesting what you truly desire is not a huge jump from A-Z.  It’s a journey that you’ll look back on at different points in time,  and realize just how far you’ve come.

Slow and steady wins the race.

How to Manifest What You Truly Desire: Part I

How to Manifest What You Truly Desire: Part I

Why does manifesting our deepest desires seem to elude us so often?

I believe one of the major reasons for this can be traced to our attempt to achieve our deepest desires as adults in the same manner that we were trained to achieve success in school as children.

In school, if we did the assigned work and studied for the tests, we would most likely get our diploma or degree.  If we really applied ourselves, we may even get great grades.  In contrast, manifesting an incredible romantic partner or an amazing, abundant, and fulfilling career is a quite a different process.  It’s not linear.  There aren’t prescribed steps to take that will pretty much guarantee us the achievement we set out to obtain.

Our deepest desires and dreams are complex, and are something we are consciously choosing.  Rather than completing a task society has set up for all of us to achieve pretty equally, we are creating our own path.  Trying to continue to achieve our life dreams in the same way we excelled in school may not be the route that brings us our highest desires.

Manifesting our deepest desires involves a lot of inner work.  Though we must do outer work as well, manifesting our deepest desires requires a little less ‘outer’ work than the diploma or degree and great grades did.  Though we spent many years learning and perfecting the art of doing the outer work, for the most part, we haven’t been taught how to do the inner work.

In order to manifest our deepest desires and enjoy the feelings we really desire that are underneath the goal we are moving towards, we have to know what we want in the first place. This requires knowing who we are, and that requires a large dose of ‘inner work.’

So what is inner work, exactly?  It’s meditation, contemplation, journaling, mindfulness, self-awareness, and personal responsibility for our choices and feelings– gooey, intangible stuff that we’ve barely scratched the surface of in the linear ‘outside’ work wold of academia.  In order to be happy, whole adults, we must achieve the balance of inner and outer work, and from there we can create our dreams.

But the inner work must come first.

…To be continued in the next blog