I am under the impression that this is a call-in show as well. 🙂
Join us! 6:30pm CST
I am under the impression that this is a call-in show as well. 🙂
Join us! 6:30pm CST
The healthiest relationships are those where both people are doing their personal growth work, and the amount of give and take feels relatively balanced. If you over-help everyone else at the expense of yourself, hoping for love and validation of your worth by what you can “do” for them, you’ve set up a toxic pattern. If you expect others to jump in and save you every time you face a challenge, you lose an opportunity to learn and grow.
We must all do the majority of our personal growth work. That work involves getting to know yourself and understanding your worth. You have worth by the mere fact that you exist. You do not have to prove that worth to anyone. If you feel as if you do, it is time to look at why you feel that way, and apply some love to that part of you after you’ve uncovered the misconception. You deserve to be treated with honor and respect, but you must be willing to honor and respect yourself before you’ll be able to recognize when you are being mistreated. When you begin to stand on your own two feet and love yourself, you will no longer agree to situations where others are dishonoring to you. You will develop the courage to say no to those people and situations that do not honor your being.
It is a process, as you have most likely picked up false concepts that have been on repeat in your subconscious for years. Be gentle with yourself, and celebrate every new victory where you’ve learned to stand in your power and love yourself.
It is possible that you may find yourself a bit lonely for awhile. Try to embrace, rather than to fear this period of time. This is your time to spend wonderful, quality time getting to know and love yourself. It is in this amazing time that you will build the foundations needed to bring new, healthy relationships into your life.
If you learned to be alone and really fallen in love with yourself, you will begin to give yourself all the things you gave away to others while expecting someone else to fill the cup you emptied. Our cups should runneth over, and we cannot give what we don’t have. So give, love, get to know, and fall in love with yourself first.
Remember to congratulate yourself for taking the first step toward a better life- a life in which the genuine love and respect you give others comes from a cup overflowing, and the love you receive is in line with what you’ve learned to give yourself.
You got this.
Why does manifesting our deepest desires seem to elude us so often?
I believe one of the major reasons for this can be traced to our attempt to achieve our deepest desires as adults in the same manner that we were trained to achieve success in school as children.
In school, if we did the assigned work and studied for the tests, we would most likely get our diploma or degree. If we really applied ourselves, we may even get great grades. In contrast, manifesting an incredible romantic partner or an amazing, abundant, and fulfilling career is a quite a different process. It’s not linear. There aren’t prescribed steps to take that will pretty much guarantee us the achievement we set out to obtain.
Our deepest desires and dreams are complex, and are something we are consciously choosing. Rather than completing a task society has set up for all of us to achieve pretty equally, we are creating our own path. Trying to continue to achieve our life dreams in the same way we excelled in school may not be the route that brings us our highest desires.
Manifesting our deepest desires involves a lot of inner work. Though we must do outer work as well, manifesting our deepest desires requires a little less ‘outer’ work than the diploma or degree and great grades did. Though we spent many years learning and perfecting the art of doing the outer work, for the most part, we haven’t been taught how to do the inner work.
In order to manifest our deepest desires and enjoy the feelings we really desire that are underneath the goal we are moving towards, we have to know what we want in the first place. This requires knowing who we are, and that requires a large dose of ‘inner work.’
So what is inner work, exactly? It’s meditation, contemplation, journaling, mindfulness, self-awareness, and personal responsibility for our choices and feelings– gooey, intangible stuff that we’ve barely scratched the surface of in the linear ‘outside’ work wold of academia. In order to be happy, whole adults, we must achieve the balance of inner and outer work, and from there we can create our dreams.
But the inner work must come first.
…To be continued in the next blog
Today I’m going to write a continuation of my last blog, and start with the question that may have been left slightly unanswered: “What does it really mean to show up and do your work?”
For those of you struggling to make career, relationship, and health goals a reality, you may feel like you’ve already done so much work. You’ve taken the classes, made the plans and goals, written the press releases, gone on the dates, been a good friend, been to college, and basically “done your time.” So why can’t you manifest that which you desire?
Well, to start with, as I mentioned in the last blog, a big part of the formula is to trust and let go, but there is another component. This one involves your perception of the word work, and is very closely related to a major theme of my book, Holding Space- A Guide to Supporting Others While Remembering to Take Care of Yourself First. In the book, one of the concepts I cover is the difference between masculine and feminine energies, and how each of us have and use both, no matter what our physical gender is.
In brief, masculine energy is that of: plans, structure, doing, and the concrete. It it the energy of bringing things into form. Again, in brief, feminine energies consist of things such as: being, tapping into the creative field, and relationships. Here’s the trick- the feminine must be entered into before the masculine can be utilized. This may come as a shock, because Western culture has taught the exact opposite. What this means is that you have to do the abstract work of be-ing, before you can begin the concrete do-ing work that is also required to bring things into existence. And then again, after you do your work in both areas, you have to let go and trust that the Universe/God/Spirit/whatever your believe in that is bigger than you, is working to fit the pieces together and bring you what you ordered, if it is indeed for your highest good.
So remember when you are showing up and doing your work, that the work does not only entail the concrete things you learned in school as a child, or at a job as an adult. In order to be truly whole and truly manifest that which you desire, you have to do the deeper emotional, spiritual, and healing work required to remove any unconscious blocks to your success. You also need to be still enough to really get to know yourself and what you truly want to manifest, what’s honoring to you, and what isn’t. Once you’ve done both types of work, you must again trust that what you ordered will be brought to you in its right timing. No need to be jealous of others or upset at yourself that you’re doing something wrong. Tune in to that which is greater than you, follow your guidance and intuition, show up and do the work, and then trust.
Here is another inspired writing from today. No edits, just raw musings from my morning writing. Sometimes it’s best to leave them that way, especially in blog form…
Love exists in many different ways at many different hours.
Love it timeless.
Love is a power greater than any of us can imagine.
Love can right wrongs.
Love can breathe life into things that have lost their breath but still have a spark left.
How do you tap into love?
Simply embrace the feeling, and it will flow. It will touch not only you, but everyone you come in contact with.
It can magnify bigger and bigger until it overtakes all lower energy feelings.
Love is what the world needs right now.
Everyone loves the feeling that comes from being respected. When we feel respected by ourselves and others, we feel more full. When we feel this abundance, we then have enough overflow to give more to ourselves and to others.
Giving, receiving, and mutual respect in relationships feel good. These things grow from understanding our needs and the needs of those around us. If we go often to the still place inside, we can get answers to questions we ask ourselves and our higher power about our feelings. In doing so, we will be more aware of our needs as well as things that we need to work through to avoid projecting them onto others.
Harmony rises when we know ourselves enough to ask for what we need in each moment. When we approach others with a need that has been discovered after an honest assessment of our emotional state, we won’t be as shy to ask for it to be met. As well, if we are communicating with another who knows themselves well, they will usually be more understanding in their response to our request.
Respect will feel plentiful through the honesty that was given, and hearts will continue to open, adding to the love, peace, and harmony that we desire. ❤
Sneak peek of my new book cover.
Waiting on the final edit reviews/corrections of the final proof and then off we go!
Until then, here’s a little teaser…
“No matter what our story, above all else we all desire to love and be loved. I believe that if we heal the wounds within ourselves first, and then within our partnerships, families, and communities, this is how we will eventually bring about the global peace and harmony that we wish to see. This is true transformation from the inside out, not merely change from the outside in. When we can do this within ourselves, our intimate relationships will be healthier. When our intimate relationships are healthier, our families will be healthier. When our families are healthier, our communities will be healthier, and so on. It is of the utmost importance to first heal ourselves, then our relationships, our families, our communities, our world, and our universe. If we attempt to change the world without this foundational healing, and attempt to re-build on a wounded separateness consciousness, we are again building our houses on sand.” Amanda Dobra Hope- from: Holding Space- A Guide to Supporting Others While Remembering to Take Care of Yourself First
Stay tuned to this blog, check out my website at: http://www.itsasyoulikeit.com, follow me on Twitter at: @amandadobrahope, or Facebook at: http://www.facebook.com/itsasyoulikeit for more information as soon as it’s ready!