How Loving Yourself Helps You to Attract Healthy Relationships With Others

How Loving Yourself Helps You to Attract Healthy Relationships With Others

The healthiest relationships are those where both people are doing their personal growth work, and the amount of give and take feels relatively balanced.  If you over-help everyone else at the expense of yourself, hoping for love and validation of your worth by what you can “do” for them, you’ve set up a toxic pattern.  If you expect others to jump in and save you every time you face a challenge, you lose an opportunity to learn and grow.

We must all do the majority of our personal growth work.  That work involves getting to know yourself and understanding your worth.  You have worth by the mere fact that you exist.  You do not have to prove that worth to anyone.  If you feel as if you do, it is time to look at why you feel that way, and apply some love to that part of you after you’ve uncovered the misconception.  You deserve to be treated with honor and respect, but you must be willing to honor and respect yourself before you’ll be able to recognize when you are being mistreated.  When you begin to stand on your own two feet and love yourself, you will no longer agree to situations where others are dishonoring to you.  You will develop the courage to say no to those people and situations that do not honor your being.

It is a process, as you have most likely picked up false concepts that have been on repeat in your subconscious for years.  Be gentle with yourself, and celebrate every new victory where you’ve learned to stand in your power and love yourself.

It is possible that you may find yourself a bit lonely for awhile.  Try to embrace, rather than to fear this period of time.  This is your time to spend wonderful, quality time getting to know and love yourself.  It is in this amazing time that you will build the foundations needed to bring new, healthy relationships into your life.

If you learned to be alone and really fallen in love with yourself, you will begin to give yourself all the things you gave away to others while expecting someone else to fill the cup you emptied.  Our cups should runneth over, and we cannot give what we don’t have.  So give, love, get to know, and fall in love with yourself first.

Remember to congratulate yourself for taking the first step toward a better life- a life in which the genuine love and respect you give others comes from a cup overflowing, and the love you receive is in line with what you’ve learned to give yourself.

You got this.

Manifesting What You Truly Desire: Part II

Manifesting What You Truly Desire: Part II

This is a continuation of my last post.

How do you get to know yourself, in order to be sure you manifest what you truly desire?

Take time for stillness, meditation, and contemplation each day, and get to know yourself in an intimate way.   Learn from your feelings about things.  What are they telling you?  What are the deeper feelings under why you feel that way?  What lights you up?  What drains you?  What makes you feel like you are moving towards something, and what makes you feel as if you are manifesting more of what you’re moving away from?

When you answer these questions and start to move forward, you should also be aware that many of your old subconscious beliefs (ones you are probably not aware of), will begin to rise to the surface.  They will try to throw you off track, because you are trying to manifest the opposite of what they are telling you is possible for you to achieve.  You soaked up these old tapes long ago, and they are most likely not applicable to what you are trying to create in this moment. Be gentle with them and yourself as you attempt to define, unravel, and dissolve them, they’ve been with you for a long time.

Give yourself grace, and move through both the wins and the road blocks with an understanding that you need time to dismantle the old, as well as to integrate the new.  Be proud of yourself for choosing something different, and celebrate the fact that you are continuing to move forward, despite the old programs that are trying to derail you. You are stronger than they are, but you also must bend a bit to allow them to affect you.  If you do nothing but fight constantly, you’ll wear yourself out.

Manifesting your dreams is a delicate balancing act.  You must move forward without pushing so hard that you exhaust yourself, but also keep enough momentum going to keep you at a steady pace.

Take the time to integrate and absorb the new you are moving towards.  Manifesting what you truly desire is not a huge jump from A-Z.  It’s a journey that you’ll look back on at different points in time,  and realize just how far you’ve come.

Slow and steady wins the race.

How to Manifest What You Truly Desire: Part I

How to Manifest What You Truly Desire: Part I

Why does manifesting our deepest desires seem to elude us so often?

I believe one of the major reasons for this can be traced to our attempt to achieve our deepest desires as adults in the same manner that we were trained to achieve success in school as children.

In school, if we did the assigned work and studied for the tests, we would most likely get our diploma or degree.  If we really applied ourselves, we may even get great grades.  In contrast, manifesting an incredible romantic partner or an amazing, abundant, and fulfilling career is a quite a different process.  It’s not linear.  There aren’t prescribed steps to take that will pretty much guarantee us the achievement we set out to obtain.

Our deepest desires and dreams are complex, and are something we are consciously choosing.  Rather than completing a task society has set up for all of us to achieve pretty equally, we are creating our own path.  Trying to continue to achieve our life dreams in the same way we excelled in school may not be the route that brings us our highest desires.

Manifesting our deepest desires involves a lot of inner work.  Though we must do outer work as well, manifesting our deepest desires requires a little less ‘outer’ work than the diploma or degree and great grades did.  Though we spent many years learning and perfecting the art of doing the outer work, for the most part, we haven’t been taught how to do the inner work.

In order to manifest our deepest desires and enjoy the feelings we really desire that are underneath the goal we are moving towards, we have to know what we want in the first place. This requires knowing who we are, and that requires a large dose of ‘inner work.’

So what is inner work, exactly?  It’s meditation, contemplation, journaling, mindfulness, self-awareness, and personal responsibility for our choices and feelings– gooey, intangible stuff that we’ve barely scratched the surface of in the linear ‘outside’ work wold of academia.  In order to be happy, whole adults, we must achieve the balance of inner and outer work, and from there we can create our dreams.

But the inner work must come first.

…To be continued in the next blog

We Can Build New Structures- Without Waiting Around For the Old Ones to Crumble Completely

We Can Build New Structures- Without Waiting Around For the Old Ones to Crumble Completely

A Message to All Regarding the Inhumanity We are Witnessing:

We must build the new in order to render the current systems obsolete.

We were never meant to be ‘ruled’ by de-humanized structures and systems, that is why they are not working and why they are breaking down.  The real need is freedom.  Sovereign freedom.  The freedom we get from being who we really are, and having the resources to do the things we really want to do, and take care of ourselves.  When we are stifled or not allowed to be our true selves, we suffer.  In some, that suffering can lead to actions they would not have taken had they had the proper love, care, and encouragement to grow into who they truly are.  This cannot be found in structures and systems, only in hearts.

Our current systems do not teach us how to heal our hurting hearts; they do not teach us how to deal with life; they do not always encourage us to be ourselves; and the systems definitely do not school us in things like understanding our conscious and  subconscious, listening to our emotions and learning from their messages, and relationships.

May we all feel the sovereign freedom in doing what we are put on this planet to do.  In whatever ways we can (even if that is only taking responsibility for working on ourselves), may we help create the new systems– Systems with heart, systems designed to encourage and honor others where they are at, wherever they are at.

Because we should all be allowed to be who we really are, so long as we do not hurt ourselves or others.

We don’t have to wait until everything crumbles in order to start to rebuild.

 

 

A Quick Look at “Will”

A Quick Look at “Will”

Free Write- Topic: The Will

Will

You can bend it, break it, and strengthen it.

It can move you forward, or keep you stuck in place.

Many use it forcefully, and try to overpower that of others.

Strengthen your will by learning that we are all part of the same universe.

Some may think they can take or use more power than they should, but this is not real power.

Surrender your will to the understanding that you are a part of the whole universe, and your individual power will strengthen in a sustainable manner.

You are powerful.

Insert yourself into the greater flow and use your will to enhance the life experience of all you are connected to, and you will thrive as well.

How to Follow Your Intuition

How to Follow Your Intuition

Following your intuition is like fine tuning a radio dial.  Sometimes it comes in crystal clear and you are sure that it is the station you are searching for.  But sometimes, if anything is the least bit different in the atmosphere, it can be fuzzy.  If the interference is great enough, you may not even be sure you are getting the station you usually tune in to.

Fine tuning your intuition and connection to your spiritual team takes practice.  Even after you are very competent at it, interference can still make your channel fuzzy, or sometimes not tuned in at all.  Getting to know yourself and your subtle shifts in energy will help you understand whether or not your intuition is on point.

If you are a beginner, one way to begin tuning into yourself is to adopt any type of quiet or stillness practice to help reduce the noise we take in everyday in mainstream culture.  It doesn’t have to be complicated, try just sitting in silence for 10-15 minutes a day.  It will do wonders to de-clutter your mind.

Another way to get to know yourself is to work with your thoughts and feelings throughout the day.  Begin to notice the subtle shifts in your energy, what caused them, how you want to work with them, and what they mean for you.  Why did a certain situation or person get brought into your life?  Why are you feeling angry or upset?  Ask yourself as many questions as possible until you find the deeper answers you may not be aware of.  Then take steps to address the answers you receive, in order to bring yourself back into alignment with what is healthiest for you.

Another helpful tip is to watch what you take in for entertainment.  Be sure it is lifting your spirit or enhancing your life in some way.  If it is draining you or making you shut down in any way, perhaps it’s not a great choice for entertainment for you.  Entertainment is meant to elevate your mood, not deplete it.

Lastly, always test a message by asking if it is coming from your higher self or benevolent helpers, and ask up to three times.  Most false prophets will back off after the first question.  Does it feel true in your gut?  Is it based on love? Even if it is a tough message to hear, does it serve a benevolent purpose, or is it coming from ego?

When learning to work with your intuition, you must practice.  So start small.  Begin with little questions and decisions.  As you develop trust and a good relationship with both your intuition and benevolent team, you can  move up to more serious questions.  Start now and start small, and you will be building a firm foundation to make your best and highest choices for many years ahead.

 

When Life Gets Tough, Hang on.

When Life Gets Tough, Hang on.

Today’s post is another inspired writing, where I just write what comes, without much editing or proofreading.  I hope it helps someone who may benefit from its message.

 

When the road is long and you are feeling weary

Hang on.

Change is around the corner.

 

When you feel like you’re gasping for air or that no one around you cares

Hang on.

Change is on the horizon.

 

Believe it.

Feel it.

Be it.

 

Love is always here.

Even in your darkest days.

 

Believe in the power of love to heal hearts.

Believe there are better days coming.

 

You are part of the universe.

You are everything in the world.

 

Love yourself

And you love everything.

 

Love all.

Joy is inevitable.

 

Even if you can’t see it right now.

Believe it is hidden

And it will be revealed.

You are so loved.