Conditioned Response

I started dusting a little while ago because I suddenly felt guided to.

As I began moving the decorations on the entertainment center in the living room to dust, one of my cats came bolting out of her favorite adjacent room and ran upstairs.

Why?

Conditioned Response.

She’s not afraid of my dusting. What she is afraid of is the vacuum. Historically, when I dust, the vacuum is soon to follow.

Now I’ve been low on energy for quite a while, and was only planning on dusting as that’s all I had the energy for today. I wasn’t going to vacuum. But, this creature whom I can’t communicate with in words to tell her that, has learned about the environments she lives in and how to predict them by observing them. Humans have words, but we don’t always think to use them to convey to people that we aren’t going to cause them the same harm that someone or something in their past did. And even if we did use them, it may not do any good as people often get triggered.

Familiar things start happening, a person’s conditioned response sets in, and fight or flight takes over.

At this point, even if we use our human words or emotions of love to reassure the person that we can be trusted and that the hurtful events of their past aren’t about to play out again- the triggered person is no longer open to this info. They are in protective mode.

The only thing they want to do at this point is run upstairs to avoid the vacuum, and in the heightened state they are in, they may also give us a piece of their mind on their way up there.

As humans, we have the power to dispel triggers and projections by doing the inner work necessary to help us separate one situation from another. We can discover through careful examination that though the details of the situation may seem strikingly similar to those in the situations where we were hurt previously, we need to take a deeper look into the intentions or emotional state of the person or thing that originally caused us harm. This is where we will find our answers.

We need to ask ourselves˗ are the motivations, true intentions, and overall emotional state of the current person the same as the person who harmed us in the past? It may take some digging and raw honesty, especially if we are still in the triggered state, to find the real answer. If we have done the work and know for certain that the answer is yes after fully processing and separating the initial incidents from this one˗ we may need to do something different or have every reason to want to protect ourselves.

But what happens if when we look as deep as we can go, we realize that the intentions of the current person and situation are not to harm us, and that in fact they won’t harm us (based on our previous history of interactions with that person), but rather that we are blocking intimacy with them because of the giant fearball we have placed between ourselves and any trust we have of them.

We got our cat as a stray. She was friendly but skittish, and we were certain that she had been someone’s indoor pet but had been traumatized in some way before she was probably thrown out or just let go. Because of this, she was distrustful of humans, through at the same time she craved our affection and love. Maybe a vacuum had hurt her in the past, and maybe the person operating it had intended to harm her (most likely as a result of their own inner demons that they couldn’t calm).

If she wants to fully let down her guard and enjoy her life with us, she will need to learn that we do not intend to harm her, and that we will not use an object (especially the one she has been conditioned to be afraid of) to harm her.

She must learn to separate the motives and intentions of the person in the past from the actions, motives, and intentions she has come to expect from us for the last few years in her present.
My question in all of this is here:

Is there somewhere in your life where you are so traumatized by the feelings and objects that were directed your way in a negative energy in the past, that you are not able to trust those who are not trying to hurt you in the present˗ though the details of the situation or object may seem the same?

Maybe it’s time to take a deeper look.

When Life Gets Tough, Hang on.

Today’s post is another inspired writing, where I just write what comes, without much editing or proofreading.  I hope it helps someone who may benefit from its message.

 

When the road is long and you are feeling weary

Hang on.

Change is around the corner.

 

When you feel like you’re gasping for air or that no one around you cares

Hang on.

Change is on the horizon.

 

Believe it.

Feel it.

Be it.

 

Love is always here.

Even in your darkest days.

 

Believe in the power of love to heal hearts.

Believe there are better days coming.

 

You are part of the universe.

You are everything in the world.

 

Love yourself

And you love everything.

 

Love all.

Joy is inevitable.

 

Even if you can’t see it right now.

Believe it is hidden

And it will be revealed.

You are so loved.

Conserving Our Energy

In the current state of the world, we would do well to remember to take good care of our energy.

We as humans only have so much energy to spend, and to blow it on things that don’t serve us not only hurts us, but also hurts “us” as a collective species.  When someone is trying to control us for whatever reason, they cannot do it as easily if we have full energy.  This is the reason that someone seeking control will try to make us emotionally and physically drained by any means possible, until we cannot make a change or fight back.

One of the best things we can do for ourselves and others during this time is to pay attention to our self-care.  Preserve and conserve our energy, as well as our loving spirit- first for ourselves, and then for those around us, no matter how they are acting.  This does not mean that we will commune with them, but rather that we will not waste any of our precious energy despising them or feeling like their helpless victims.  We can cultivate our love and compassion for all of humanity, whatever they are dealing with, while making our love and care for ourselves the priority.  What I mean by that is we can have a larger love and compassion for them, but we will also not allow what they are doing to drain our precious energy.  Conserve, plan, act, and love.

That is how we get through trying times with those who are not choosing to take control of their own energy.

 

To Those Who Have Abuse in Their Past- How to Overcome

This is another inspired writing- again, where I sit down and it comes flowing out, unfiltered, without necessarily being grammatically correct or academically organized.  I edit a bit for clarity, but otherwise try to leave the words and ideas intact.

 A Letter To Those Who Were Abused As Children:

You are not soiled.

Lift yourself up and own your brilliance and sparkle.

Cast off any feelings of shame, soiledness, or unworthiness.

You were abused.

That does not define your worth .  It does not make you “less-than.”

Because someone appeared to have power over you does not take away your brilliance- it does not diminish you.

They were in fear.

You are not.

You are not damaged or broken because of it.

Someone wrongly abused their power with you when you were a vulnerable child.

That has no bearing on you and your self-worth and self-confidence.

You do not have to live a life of lack of physical pleasure because of it.

Own your power and you can have everything you deserve.

You are eternal.

No mortal human has any authority over you.

You are connected to the divine and will always be worthy.

Any human who tries to take away another’s power is acting from fear, anger, and hurt themselves.

They will not gain power that way.

You know that.

So lift your head high.

Own your personal power.

And let no mortal acting from fear take away what is always yours to claim.