The healthiest relationships are those where both people are doing their personal growth work, and the amount of give and take feels relatively balanced. If you over-help everyone else at the expense of yourself, hoping for love and validation of your worth by what you can “do” for them, you’ve set up a toxic pattern. If you expect others to jump in and save you every time you face a challenge, you lose an opportunity to learn and grow.
We must all do the majority of our personal growth work. That work involves getting to know yourself and understanding your worth. You have worth by the mere fact that you exist. You do not have to prove that worth to anyone. If you feel as if you do, it is time to look at why you feel that way, and apply some love to that part of you after you’ve uncovered the misconception. You deserve to be treated with honor and respect, but you must be willing to honor and respect yourself before you’ll be able to recognize when you are being mistreated. When you begin to stand on your own two feet and love yourself, you will no longer agree to situations where others are dishonoring to you. You will develop the courage to say no to those people and situations that do not honor your being.
It is a process, as you have most likely picked up false concepts that have been on repeat in your subconscious for years. Be gentle with yourself, and celebrate every new victory where you’ve learned to stand in your power and love yourself.
It is possible that you may find yourself a bit lonely for awhile. Try to embrace, rather than to fear this period of time. This is your time to spend wonderful, quality time getting to know and love yourself. It is in this amazing time that you will build the foundations needed to bring new, healthy relationships into your life.
If you learned to be alone and really fallen in love with yourself, you will begin to give yourself all the things you gave away to others while expecting someone else to fill the cup you emptied. Our cups should runneth over, and we cannot give what we don’t have. So give, love, get to know, and fall in love with yourself first.
Remember to congratulate yourself for taking the first step toward a better life- a life in which the genuine love and respect you give others comes from a cup overflowing, and the love you receive is in line with what you’ve learned to give yourself.
You got this.
Amanda Dobra Hope 